Married to the Truth... but Cheating

Married to the Truth

but cheating like a thief

I intended divine communion

when I took my solemn vows

earnestly I wrote the words

upon my heart in blood

of my unborn children's children

and made my pledge to know you

and keep you safe and well cherished

and in return you opened yourself to me

and let me know you more deeply

than I had ever known before

in bliss we would lay

in authenticity

together at last

forever it seemed

But now I'm here or there

without a second thought carefree

nothing matters at all these days

pretending it's all good

as you sleep so trustfully

I allow you to fill my heart

and drink your sacred wine

while I lie musing in my mind

how other's might taste

wondering in silence

why I cannot keep

the vows I made

And all for lack of patience

everything I've ever asked

has been given and received

sometimes in ways I cannot see

but the Truth cannot hurry or lie

she can only give herself

as she is

or not at all

when her cocoon is ripe

she emerges in brilliant clarity

as the glorious butterfly she is

how I once loved to watch her fly

with tears flowing down my cheek

but now in the darkness

I contemplate my cheat

For other's hearts are more easily won

tempting me to discard what I know

willingly they whisper what I long to hear

enchanting my fantasies of knowing

by stories of my own making

servicing my imagination's fancy

rather than saying what is

and I am carried away

suckling their false treasure

and turning my back upon you

my beloved one who is helpless

unable to stand in my way

because you can only speak

when you are cherished

and can only open

when you are loved

So I ask you to wear false clothing

that flatters not the beauty of your form

while nakedly you stand open to me

showing every sweet curve of your being

I dress you in rags of cheap fancy

pretending you are one of my whores

painting false words upon your chest

parroted slogans you never said

covering the succulent splendor you offer

if only I would care to drink your nectar

and lay again in the divine bliss

we once shared so true

And now I increase your burden

forcing you to walk behind me

carrying slowly all my baggage

and my contrived dogma too

stuffing your mouth too full to speak

with other men's musings not my own

burying your devotion out of sight

so as not to catch a glimpse

of your beloved True name

that would remind me

to set us both free

this is how I care for thee

But with loving tears of trust betrayed

and wise eyes asking to be known

needing only my honesty to answer

why am I here with you

pretending to be one with intention

while squandering my promise

offending your sweet womb

with the memory of my whores

while your only offense

is being True

I find myself

in my own shadow

and choose to step

back into the light

where you embrace me

as we begin again

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Photo: Zachar Rise